Twitter has been a distraction in my life for far too long. I dislike the person I am on Twitter and just detest the atmosphere that has arisen on the platform, but given my other issues I think it's time to take a break.
As some of you who know me on Facebook will known I’ve had my health issues of late. A year of constant referrals to the GP and a series of sprays and antibiotics for my nose didn’t seem to be clearing anything. And then just before summer I was floored with tonsillitis and admitted to the ENT at the Queen Elizabeth Univserity Hospital.
It was there that I decided I’d had enough with Twitter, I got a whole new clarity on life.
However once cleared one of the specialist consultants asked me to come back and see him after my summer Holliday as there was something bugging him about the whole way my infection had affected me. That hunch may well have saved my life.
A few weeks later I was getting cameras up my nose and discussing the possibility of having my adenoids removed, and so off i went to a CT scan.
It’s hard to describe the next part, there I was sitting with my consultant about to discuss the results of the scan and then I hear the words “I’m actually really worried about you” there then followed a sentence in which “cancer“ was mentioned but it’s difficult to recall much else. You might suspect you have cancer, it may be sitting there in the back of your mind, but nothing prepares you for the moment when you actually hear it.
It took me about an hour to recover my objectivity but I knew what I needed to do - how am I going to beat this?
I’m fit, I’m healthy, I’ve got a great family and friends support network and work have been great, together we’re going to beat the crap out of this.
I’ve a huge mind map and project plan of all the stages I’m going through.
Following more CT scans and an MRI (that’s a weird experience) I went under the knife to get a biopsy which went very well and I was back at work within a couple of days.
With the tumour being in the nose and skull its very difficult to operate on but fortunately I was in the hands of some world experts in this particularly rare form of cancer. Glasgow NHS ENT is so lucky to have the team they have, they have been nothing short of fantastic.
Last Thursdays I had surgery to remove some of the tumour in my head and that was a success, although sore and it’s taking me quite some time to recover, largely because I’m trying too hard to get better and back to work!
The next step is to further study the tumour and determine the form of radio and chemo therapy that I’ll need. That’s going to be a hard shift I know but it’s one that I’ll get through with the support of friends, work and family.
I can’t offer any new advice to anyone hearing the c-word for the first time other than try your best to relax, stay calm and listen to your medical team. Then stop moaning and feeling sorry for yourself, work out how you are going to get better and what YOU need to do as part of that process.
I’ll update the blog from time to time as this process develops, I’ve been persuaded by my good friends Phil and Charlotte (@Scotfax) to support their twitter pensions account so you’ll “see” me from time to time and right now it’s helping alienate the boredom of post-operative recovery, so I might do some updates from there.
UPDATE 2018:
So about a month ago I got my final pathology, my cancer is adenoid-cystic-carcinoma which is a very rare cancer usually found in the saliva glands. In my case however it's in the nasopharynx. That rarity is good in the sense that I have some of the best people in the NHS from across the UK all over me (I'm assuming there are a few papers out of it).
My treatment starts today (14 November) and it's daily radio therapy until early January (with weekends and bank holidays off).
From what I've been told the cancer is incurable but is at least manageable provided they can beat it back with radiotherapy and I've every confidence in the team that are supporting me. I can't say enough the admiration I have for the NHS and the specialist that called me back based on nothing more than a hunch.
For now I've got a tough road ahead and over the next two weeks I can expect the radiotherapy to take it's toll. So I'll be quieter than usual I'm sure as I focus on beating this. As I always say to everyone, I'm not worried and neither should anyone else. We've got this and it's going to lose.
UPDATE 2018:
So about a month ago I got my final pathology, my cancer is adenoid-cystic-carcinoma which is a very rare cancer usually found in the saliva glands. In my case however it's in the nasopharynx. That rarity is good in the sense that I have some of the best people in the NHS from across the UK all over me (I'm assuming there are a few papers out of it).
My treatment starts today (14 November) and it's daily radio therapy until early January (with weekends and bank holidays off).
From what I've been told the cancer is incurable but is at least manageable provided they can beat it back with radiotherapy and I've every confidence in the team that are supporting me. I can't say enough the admiration I have for the NHS and the specialist that called me back based on nothing more than a hunch.
For now I've got a tough road ahead and over the next two weeks I can expect the radiotherapy to take it's toll. So I'll be quieter than usual I'm sure as I focus on beating this. As I always say to everyone, I'm not worried and neither should anyone else. We've got this and it's going to lose.
UPDATE 2023:
I wanted to wait a while before updating this blog. In 2019, before lockdown and whilst basking in the success of an incredibly difficult 28 sessions of radio therapy I ended up getting the odd dizzy spell.
This led to a number of tests and scans only for me to hear the news I never wanted; it's back. This time it's spread to my lungs.
There's no going back from this, I can't get radio again and the tumours are inoperable. That means I can wallow in self-pity or I can roll my sleeves up and get on with life and make the most of what I have left.
It's that reason that I retired early. I've been lucky and I've been VERY well prepared for retirement with my finances, it means that I have the luxury of being able to retire at the bright age of 51 and I can only thank Scottish Friendly for all their support over that period.
So for now, I'll consider my options in retirement. Golf seems to be the way to go and I'll probably take the metaphorical plunge. I'll even think about reviving my Twitter account. Maybe I can learn from the past and be a better person on the platform. From the brief interactions I had on with with Phil I didn't really see it as improving. But hey when you are faced with living with cancer, no matter how bad it gets surely the odd post on X.com about demographics, pensions and insurance can't be worse... can it?